I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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