He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
