with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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