Kiss
Puke
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
