he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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