no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize