why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
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I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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