Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
