I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
