I like my sex mixed with concussions.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
