We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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