My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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