I wannas sexs uuuuu
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
