the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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