Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
