Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
