brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
