I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
