How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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