FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
and you fell through a lawn chair
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
