So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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