Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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