He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
