Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
