He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
