Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
