He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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