Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
that may or may not have been my penis.
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