Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
