didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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