Hey man sorry I got all grabby
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
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All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Floor bacon is actually really good
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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