then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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