so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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