i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
