U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
