after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
