I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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