I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
