No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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