Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Even my vagina gasped.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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