Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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