I just pynch a tree in the face
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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