I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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