She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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