She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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