Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
