They have a pepper shaker for pot.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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