We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
