I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
