....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
