Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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