The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
