I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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