How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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