I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
