is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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