Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
