Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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