I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
