okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
