hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
