this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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