You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
