I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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