Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
