So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
