The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
