Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
