I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
