i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
