Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
